Killing Him Softly
by Hyuchiha Ruki
Summary: Her painted fingers brushed against the picture, sliding it into her hand with a tender caress. Him. Her. Smiling. Both of them, she was sure, wore a smile that hid tears that they couldn’t shed. 'Prequel to 'Go On, Sakura' by Swords and Bandages. Songfic


**This is a requested song fic for Swords and Bandages. It's the prequel to Swords and Bandages' 'Go On, Sakura', which I have already read and I think it is a one-shot worth reading. I suggest reading that, too.**

**The song I used is 'Unfaithful' by Rihanna. It's got a 'classical twist' in it, so I technically loved it to bits.**

**I hope this is an okay one-shot. I mean, I'm groggy… a little, only. Forgive any choppiness and all. Thanks. So, this is a HinaNaruSakuGaa. Pretty long, huh?**

**And yes, I have this under the GaaSaku category. I didn't know if I should've put it in the NaruSaku or the GaaSaku, so gimme a break.**

**Enjoy and leave a review when you can.**

**Note: AU.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and the song I am using are not mine.**

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The grief-stricken emeralds shot through the mesmerizing blues.

Even when the eyes were gone, out of her sight, she couldn't help but grow shaken and somewhat guilty. She looked back at the witch she saw before her, donning a simple black dress and rosy locks as her lips curved down as they sparkled under the dim light of her room.

That witch was her.

She ran her hand down her side, feeling her curve down her right. Looking back at the reflection she saw, she was quite satisfied. But she knew that if ever she saw what was inside, in her heart, she wouldn't like it.

Naruto wouldn't, either.

_Story of my life  
Searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul  
Cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company _

Sakura flipped her hair once as she pouted back at the mirror. Soon, she took her seat before the glass and started applying her mascara, opening her mouth ajar with a quick part of her thin lips. The black dripped onto her lashes, embedding them in thick ebony.

She grabbed for the dark eye pencil, drawing around her peeps and smudging them to give it a smoky form. She knew how Gaara loved them.

With a distinct lick of her lips and a hasty inspection of her dress for anything against the crow hue, she clicked her heels for no reason and finally, she walked out of the bathroom, swaying her hips as she did.

The sequined purse she held with her right brushed against her dress as she walked through the hallway. And once she has reached the coat peg, she threw a brown trench coat over herself to conceal her rather lean body clad in the black attire. It was a first step to hiding the truth.

Passing her open bedroom door, she took a moment to take a look at the place she practically lived in. Like always, her bed was there and the closets, too. And with a passive stare, she shook her head when she saw the picture of her and Naruto together tacked on her dresser.

That picture will never prove to be true, like her. She keeps playing games, taking everything but love seriously. And she could've thought of Naruto first when she agreed to go out for dinner with Gaara tonight.

When she could be walking to Naruto's for a bowl of ramen or a night of late night movies, she had lied to him. She took advantage of her position as Tsunade's apprentice, telling Naruto that she had a night shift in the hospital. It gripped her by the neck, but she has done it.

But she believed that she didn't have to tell him so. It was true that he very much knew already, so why should she waste her time and speak up? When she could be masking everything with lies, deceit and betrayal, she decided that pretense added up to be more effective.

For a moment, she walked into her room, her heels making groans as she took her steps. Her painted fingers brushed against the picture, sliding it into her hand with a tender caress. Him. Her. Smiling.

Both of them, she was sure, wore a smile that hid tears that they couldn't shed.

_He's more than a man  
And this is more than love  
The reason that the sky is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true _

Sakura found herself opening her mouth to speak, but she hesitated until she merely let the photo fly back onto the dresser, letting it land softly on the cosmetics and belongings that sat there, immobile. Whispering a silent apology to an everlasting mask would change nothing.

Snapping some sense into herself, Sakura proceeded out of the room, slamming the door behind her as she briskly made her way out. Her grip on her purse tightened as she bit her lip back, on her way out of the door.

Amid the autumn wind, she shivered as the breeze blew past her, through her skirt and down her spine. It was like a foreign touch that somehow comforted yet threatened her…

…Like Gaara's own touch.

In response to the wind, she pulled the coat closer to her, also clutching her flying sleeves against her bare skin inside. As her pink tresses flew about, she threw her head back to keep any strands from touching her glossed lips. But it was also done to stop the few tears from streaking her now pale cheeks.

Through the pavement, her heels still trailed her with groans. And when the leaves flew through her, she felt the brittle sense of the bronze and gold slice through her skin. She knew how brittle someone's heart is, too.

What brought this all together, anyway? What allowed her to do this to him?

What right did she have to kill him softly with her somewhat soothing mendacity?

_And I know that he  
knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy  
with some other guy  
I can see him dying_

Making her way across the street, Sakura went past the halted cars. She couldn't help but examine the drivers and passengers, looking for any familiar face that could catch her red-handed.

If anyone, specifically Naruto, saw her, it'd be over.

Her legs brought her pace faster, making her way down the last block before she could finally stop walking. Whenever someone passed her, she couldn't help but take another look before walking off. It made her wonder…

…Was she the only one rushing about like a loose fugitive?

She sometimes wondered why Naruto lets this happen. Why did he let her see Gaara every night? He knew where she was going, didn't he? It wasn't easy to hide something this obvious. Didn't he want to confront her or Gaara?

Or did he let this happen to him because he loved her enough to let her go?

When he could be telling her off, breaking her piece by piece with words of anger and sorrow, he was grinning back at her every time she tells him that she's going to be out for a while. When he could hate every bit of her, he still kisses her good night.

She finds herself regretting doing this to such a great guy, someone like Naruto. He didn't deserve her, yet he remains genuinely in love with her despite the times she has held Gaara's hand instead of his. Didn't he know? If he didn't, she'd still be relieved. Naruto could die when he finds out.

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer_

Against the cold glass, Sakura pushed her shoulder against it to enter the teahouse. If she was right, the place was too dim to be considered a teahouse. One could pass by and peer in then conclude that it was a bar.

Peering inside, Sakura took a look at all the calm people, seated individually in their own tables inside the teahouse. Everyone sipped quietly from glass cups that fit in one's balled fist. Between hot tea meeting lips, everyone had dango and sembei to go with it.

It was a place for relaxation, but Sakura felt like she was going to assassinate someone.

Before she knew it, she had taken her trench coat off, freeing herself from the only protection she had against the fall breath. And as she rolled her coat around her arm while slowly making her way to a certain table, her eyes shot towards blank and discerned ones.

She felt that these orbs had a hypnotic spell bound specially for her. It whispered to her of delight and love that is more than what it should be. Soon, she was seated across the Kazekage.

"I'm glad you could make it." He emotionlessly spoke up, never taking his gaze from hers. In her simple dress, Sakura played with her skirt's hem below the table as she felt the air-conditioning chill her smooth shoulders.

Nothing but a cup of warm tea was on the table and it didn't surprise Sakura. Dates with Gaara have always been plain and very hushed. It was like they enjoyed each other's company without an exchange of words. All they needed was each other's presence.

Sakura placed her rolled-up trench coat on the seat beside her as she replied softly to the redhead with a simple nod. Seeing that made Gaara grow a smirk as he eyed her plainly. There, she placed her hands above the table to cover the uneasiness she felt to be here.

Even if this felt so right before, she now fails to concentrate on the Kazekage before her. Her mind often wanders beyond the isolated teahouse, back three blocks and into the apartment she knows too well and into the empty heart of a friend, a teammate… a boyfriend she cheats on…

Her thoughts suddenly fade off when she senses the touch of soft and soothing skin against hers. She turned her gaze onto Gaara and found him stroking her arm lovingly as he asked her in a mutter, "Your mind wanders again." She and Gaara were so close they were almost joined mentally. Two great minds share the same thoughts, they say.

She shakes her head as she grins thinly back at him. Her actions speak to him, telling him not to worry. Still, her smile doesn't last long.

When she recaps it all, she loves Gaara. Yet, Naruto doesn't deserve to know that she didn't love him back anymore. When she thought she could finally get a smile out of him for life, she could be the cause for the times he couldn't sleep at night.

_I feel it in the air  
As I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss upon my cheek  
As he reluctantly  
Asks if I'm gonna be out late  
I say I won't be long  
Just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell  
Because we both know  
Where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well_

Sakura knew that Naruto had Hinata, who still thought of him everyday. When her lavender eyes meet his, she faints. But he doesn't feel the spark. If she ever goes on with the plan of telling Naruto about Gaara one day, love would be a one-way street for both Naruto and Hinata.

Gaara's fingers trailed down Sakura's arm, leading to her slender fingers. She looked at how their fingers entwined, his ivory against her flesh. It was meant to be, she knew. But every time she thought about it, she discovers that it's the same thing she tells herself when Naruto's hand is in hers.

Like history, has love always been repeated? If so, when will the heartbreaks and foolish mistakes end?

Sakura watched Gaara lightly and gently handle her hand, lifting it to his warm lips to kiss it. Whenever he did, her heart soared. Right now, it still did. Her eyes twinkled as he looked up at her with a clever smile. He knew her inside and out.

She was almost like his own kitten, brushing around her master and loving him for what he does and for who he is. She loved Gaara, nothing more or less, but she still thought of Naruto and how much he loved her. Her mind wasn't straight.

But she knew that Naruto would one day just… find out.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

The arms of guilt wrapped her as she strode past.

He was there to see her with her arm around Gaara's.

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun  
and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore  
Uh  
Anymore (anymore)_

She watches as his eyes soften in sudden shock and certain perfidy. He saw her clad in the black dress with the trench coat around his arm. Against the autumn breeze, their hair blew with the wind. She couldn't bear to look him in the eye. In fact, she pretended to be blind, not noticing him there.

His glare pierced through her as they walked past, out of the teahouse and into the blustery night. A sense of fear engulfed her, fear of seeing him tomorrow morning. More or less, she knew he'd be there to get things right.

As she held Gaara tighter as they kept walking farther, she gave him one last look and there, she mouthed an ever-so hushed apology.

He'd never hear it out of her tonight… but he will someday.

She was done killing him softly… silently… regretting every stab she gave…

His scars would be healed with forgiveness and forget.

She knew she'll soon become nothing but a nostalgic memory to him.

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer _

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**Well, I'm not always making these kind of one-shots, but oh well.**

**Feedbacks are wanted. Dead or alive. Hehe.**


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